surviving

It's back to carrying the burdens of the children. Honestly it seems heavier this year.....whether it's because I set down all I was carrying for the summer and I'm out of shape..... or because I've walked the journey once before. Now I realize that the smallest victory must be celebrated because that may be the only one you get. It has been a time of transition. A time where I figure out how to once again save some of me for after school. A time of ironing out what marriage should look like in the midst of sin, selfishness, and unmet expectations. I've changed. I'm different. I am working. Wanting to find God in the midst of my job, my marriage, my friendships or lack thereof, but not really having the energy to look. As I re enter the mission field I am reminded of my purpose........but quickly the lazy days of summer are lost and I find myself pouring out far more than is being poured in. Empty..............already.