First Day of Spring.

Today is the first day of spring........hooray! Warmer weather is just around the corner! Um yeah right after the predicted snow storm that is supposed to hit tonight. We'll see how that pans out they are calling for 2-8 inches of snow. Today brings a long standing Wagner tradition. Each year for many many years my mom has sent Miriam and I flowers on the first day of spring and today was no different. I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers at school.

Bright colors. Pretty posies. The sweet scent of flowers fills the house. What a treat. It's so fun and gives you something to look forward to. I really love and appreciate my mom. Even though we aren't in college anymore Lee and I still get random packages and often times a card with a little spending money. It allows us to feel special and helps us afford to go out and see a movie or eat sushi. These flowers really brightened my day and helped me feel loved.

These past few weeks have really been hard for Lee and I. I am weary. I can say little else besides I've come to the end of myself. It's hard to constantly pour all you have into others: 25 kids, husband, dog, friends, counseling ministry at church......and not have any time to be refreshed. I feel empty. I am too tired. I am frustrated that I can't be all for everyone and yet logic says I can't even muster up the energy to take care of myself. I'm praying that the Lord continues to pour into me just enough so that I have SOMETHING to offer everyone in my life. I can't explain what its like to be a therapist. It's more intense than I ever imagined. To help carry the emotional burdens of a child, to want desperately to help, and to realize that there is nothing you can do besides love them and pray that God protects them.....from their own families. The lives these kids have to endure......it's sad, it's scary, and it's so shocking that it makes me sick to my stomach. The system always fails them, the teachers see them as behavioral issues, and their families really are the main problem. Where is there hope for these children? All I know is that I love them. And as my soul is weary and my personal life seems a mess I think.........it's still worth it. And that is how I know that I am where God wants me to be. It's what I've always wanted....to help hurting people. It's what God gifted me to do. I just didn't realize it was going to be so damn hard.

Count down till spring break: 15 days